i dont get it

my mother makes the most delicious brownies. the recipe is from supercook (which i cant find decent links to online, but as far as i can tell, it was put out as magazines, wth binders to hold it all. 8 volumes, each about 300pages. this is HUGE people) and my mother is the only person i know who can make them.

you think im joking.

mum's best friend has the recipe. she doesnt make them, because she can't. they fail. mum makes a batch every time we go over to their house and we leave most of them, because otherwise they never get to eat brownies.

my sister occasionally makes them. they dont taste anywhere near the same.

ive made them twice. yesterday, they failed. they taste great, but really, you should not have to scoop them out of the pan with a spoon, and still eat them one crumb at a time. i think they might have been overcookes... im not sure. the other time, i dont even remember what happened, but they didnt work.

various other people ahve tried and failed.

my mother is the only person i know who can make them. its ridiculous.

I WANT TO MAKE DECENT BROWNIES!!!!!!!!!

stir fry

i made stir fry for dinner tonight, because its easy.

but as i was making it, i started wondering how easy it REALLY is.

• defrost the meat, get hubby to cut it up (i CANNOT handle raw meat/chicken unless its through a bag, and even then i get queasy. this is not a pregnancy thing, this is just me).
• cut up the veg
• add sauces and spices to the electric fry pan until it smells right, add some of the veg.
• add the same stuff to the normal fry pan, and cook the meat.
• add the rest of the veg to the electric.
• add the meat to the electric.
• add a bag of hokkien noodles to the electric.
• hope nothing burns.

granted, its not as involved as, for example, red meat (where you need a million ingredients to make the sauce, and let it cook for 20 minutes before adding it to the cooked meat, and adding partially cooked green beans), but its not as easy as lamb chops on a lazy day - stick the chops in the grill, put the rice on, cook a veg.

but in my head its still easy. and theres not much washing up, which is good. 2 pans, 2 chopping boards, 2 knives, spatula.

i wonder what else is embedded in our heads as 'easy', even when it really isnt so much?



tereyaki stir fry (which really isnt, i guess, because i add so much water)
feeds my family of 3 with a serve or two left over. can easily feed more with the adition of more veg/more noodles. meat is really an accent in this dish, and has on occasion been left out. any veg is doable, and the noodles can easily be left out to serve with rice.

in an electric fry pan:
a good drizzle of olive oil
as much again of each: red wine; tereyaki sauce
teaspoon or so of cinnamon powder
teaspoon or so of ginger (fresh, powdered, or can of minced, any is fine)
turn heat to about half way, add about a cup of water

chop a head of broccoli and add to the fry pan
also 2 cans of baby corn
(keep adding water whenever it starts looking dry, and tereyaki if it starts looking pale)

in a separate fry pan on the stove, add same amounts of oil, wine, tereyaki, ginger, and cinnamon. NO WATER.
turn heat to half, and add meat (3 cheap boneless steaks from the butcher, cut up small).

when the corn and broccoli are starting to colour, and the meat needs to be turned, add one large carrot, and about as much mushroom to the electric fry pan, with more cinnamon, and more water/tereyaki if needed. and obviously, turn the meat over.

stir the veg every now and then to make sure all sides cook.

when the meat is well browned, add to electric fry pan, along will all juices. doesnt matter if its cooked through yet.

cook everything in the electric until there is minimal liquid left, then add hokkien noodles, stir until all mixed and all liquid is gone.

tada.

bread addendum

so bread.. i lost my recipe card and jumped on here to get the recipe (KNEW there was a reaon for posting everything!) and realsie i messed up. i put the water on twice. fixed now.

before i forget

lizzie gave me cravings for silverside, so i made mum show me how she does it when we were down there (no crockpot for us. giant pot on the stove it is), and now i can inflict the delicious-rainbow-sheen-pink-salty on my husband whenever i want to. but im writing the 'recipe' here as well as in my recipe box, because i will lose paper, and this is forever.

hunk of silverside in a large pot.
2 carrots cut into chunks, about 1 inch
2 celery 1 inch
1 onion in quarters
2-3 bayleaves
small handful of peppercorns - about 1 inch.
enough water to cover.
bring to boil, reduce to simmer for 2 hours, discard water and disintegrated vegies. (or you could eat them i guess... except YUCK.)
try not to eat the entire hunk of meat. your family will look at you as if you are insane.

homemade musli bars

my wrists have been playing havoc today, probably because i slept in a truly odd position last night, and as a result, i havent got the courage to brave breadmaking. i am however in a very cooking mood, so i made musli bars.

and i even took pictures. well.. the kid took most of them. which is why there are so many.

also, please ignore the belly. its getting in the way of everything.


the measurements listed are what i use. the only really important ones are 4cups oats, and 1tin sweetened condensed milk. everything else is up to your own personal tastes. dont like apricots? leave them out. or use something else instead. want to go healthier? use more fruit instead of choc chips. want real indulgence? buy different types of choc chips and leave out the fruit. and of course you can add more or less as you want. sometimes i use more sunflower seeds, sometimes i use more sesame seeds. it all comes out just as well.

i have no idea how much these cost to make. not much. the choc chips are probably the main cost involved. ETA: ok so i was curious, and whipped out my handy spreadsheet.. this tray cost me $8.26 to make, but if i'd used coles choc-chips it would have been about $6.43 and the way i cut them, theres about 14-20 in the tray, making each musli bar 41-59c this time, or 32-46c if i use coles choc chips. not bad at all. and if i can get sweetened condensed milk on special, theyd be even a little bit cheaper.



so here we go. home-made musli-bars. YUM YUM YUM!!

oh look.. almost everything is actually in a packet for once!

put in a VERY LARGE BOWL:

4 cups quick oats - no-name brand are fine, just make sure theyre QUICK oats. (instant oats? the instructions should only list about a minute of cooking time.)


1 packet choc chips - about 250g (ish) or if you keep them in a canister or something, a little over a cup

i usually dont use brand name. i like the taste of coles-brand, and i prefer the size.. cadburry's are too large. but we went to woolworths, not coles, and woolies choc-chips leave a horrid aftertaste. so cadbury's it was. and oh look! you can see my living room.

1 cup sultanas (raisins)


1/4 cup sesame seeds


1/4 cup sunflower seeds


1/2 cup finely chopped dried apricots

i like to chop mine up about the same size as the sultanas, and i usually make sure the 1/2 cup is over-full, instead of flat. i like apricots.

1 tin sweetened condensed milk

this has got to be the only thing he DIDNT take a picture of. i have pictures of the clock, his sandal, the floor, the counter, the cat, my belly, but no tin of milk.

mix everything except the sweetened condensed milk together. you may find you need to stop occasionaly to break up clumps of apricot.. they tend to stick together until coated in oat powder.


add enough s.c.m for everything to stick together - probaly the whole tin, might be a little less. mix well.


it might look like there isnt enough s.c.m for a while, there will be a lot of dry oats in the bottom of the bowl. just keep mixing. it will all come together. sometimes helps if you turn the bowl around a bit as you go.


line a.. um.. large tin with a lid? with baking paper (the cheap stuff that doesnt work for baking is fine for this).

dont you just love my terribly attractive kitchen floor? 70s lino baby, oh yeah.

pour/scrape everything into the tin, trying not to break your wrist, or drop the 30yr old+ bowl you're currently holding, which isnt actually yours.


press down and smooth out. you may have to use your hands here.

yay. my belly.

cover with clingfilm, and put the lid on. (if your tray doesnt have a lid, the film WILL NOT STICK to the tray, so you'll have to wrap it ALL around, instead of just over the top.


stick it in the fridge to set. it doesnt matter where, just wherever theres room. which for us is usually the bottom shelf.

oh look.. my fridge is FULL!! YAY!!

when the musli bars have set, which will take a couple hours at least, you can cut them up, and theyre ready to eat. i usually cut the whole thing lengthways down the middle, and then across to make the individual bars, as i want them.

bread stuffs, raisin and otherwise

NORMAL

2 Tbsp (40ml) oil
2 1/2 cups hot water
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
10g dry yeast (3tsp)
2 tsp salt
3 cups plain flour
3 cups wholemeal flour


disolve brown sugar in water, add oil, salt, and yeast, leave to froth.
add plain flour, mix well. add enough wholemeal to turn into dough, knead on floured surface until smooth, cover in oiled bowl and rise to double.
punch down, knead again, divide in 2 and shape into loaves - either freeform or in loaf pans, rise to double again.
bake at 175C for 35min



WITH RAISINS

almost exactly the same:
add 2tsp cinnamon to yeast/sugar mix, add 1 cup sultanas (raisins) with flour. if they fall out while kneading, poke them back in.



in theory, you could add anything. havent tried it with other fruit yet. considering trying it with cheese and herbs.. but no fruit, of course.

chocolate pudding

so a couple of my lurkers, who refuse to comment, but send me emails instead (seriously guys, comment already), asked how we make chocolate pudding.

unfortunately i didnt get the emails till after i made it, so no pictures for you today, but ill take pictures next time i do it, 'k?

its not very hard to make, either. other than the bit involving bubbling lava, critter helped me all the way through. and hes only 4.


this is my mums recipe - exactly as she emailed it to me - and it only loosely corresponds to instructions on the custard powder packet (ingredients are the same other than the cocoa, but her method is rather different). i dont know where she got it from. i modify it a little.

2 well rounded tablespoons (those big silver serving spoons) of custard powder
2 slightly rounded tablespoons (serving spoons again) of sugar
1 heaped tablespoon (once again the serving spoons) of cocoa
1 pint (about 600 ml I think) milk. The Pyrex jug has a pint measure on it, I think

Put custard powder and cocoa in a pudding basin. Mix to a paste with a little of the milk - about 1/2 a cup or so. It feels really strange at this stage. Looks liquid but feels rather stiff.

Put the rest of the milk and the sugar in a saucepan and heat slightly (to about blood temperature) until the sugar is melted. Stir to make sure the sugar is disolved

Pour a bit of the warm milk into the custard powder and stir so that it is well mixed.

Pour the mixture back into the milk in the saucepan and heat gradually until it boils (it will look like lava bubbling up). Make sure to do this gently so that it doesn't burn on the bottom and stir continually so that it doesn't go lumpy. It needs to bubble so that it is thoroughly cooked as this is what thickens it.

then I pour it into individual dishes (or on top of the trifle!!) to cool.

the serving spoons she's talking about.. i really have no idea what they correspond to. possibly about a tablespoon?

ok i just went and measured it.. theyre 20ml. so thats 1tablespoon if you use australian measures, or 4teaspoons (1Tbsp, + 1tsp) if you use US measures. (why are they different? messes up my recipes something awful why is an american Tbsp=3tsp but australian Tbsp=4tsp.. grrrrrrrrr.)

ok.. so thats my mums recipe. i made it like that ast week, and while it was nice, it wasnt quite what i wanted. so today i made it just a teensy bit differently, and it was exactly right. very slightly sweeter, and a little less dense.

here we go!


INGREDIENTS

2 Tbsp (VERY heaped) custard powder
1 Tbsp (heaped) cocoa powder
2 Tbsp (slightly heaped) + 1tsp sugar
1 pint + 1/2 cup milk

METHOD

mix custard powder and cocoa together in a large bowl, and add the 1/2 cup milk. stir until well combined - try for no lumps. it might still feel stiff, this is fine, as long as it looks like a liquid.

put the sugar and 1pint milk in a saucepan, and heat till warm, NOT HOT, and the sugar is disolved.

add about 1/4 - 1/3 cup milk/sugar mixture to the custard mixture, and stir until well mixed and smooth.

poor contents of bowl back into saucepan, and bring to boil, slowly, stirring continually, all the way to the bottom of the pan.

once mix is thick and smooth, pour into individual dishes.


NOTE:

1. warm milk - blood temperature. got kids? drop some on your wrist the same way you would with a bath or a bottle. thats about right. you dont want it hot yet, but the warm helps it mix with the custard mixture.
   
2. my mum mentioned about it getting lumpy. no matter how much i stir, IT GOES LUMPY. this is fine. it smooths out if you keep mixing. i near panicked the first time, trying to figure out what id done wrong. then it stopped being lumpy, very suddenly.
3. it really does look like lava when it boils. it doesnt boil rapidly the way milk or water does, it swells slowly then bursts, and only 3-4 at a time.
4. pouring it out of the saucepan can be tricky. i find it much easier to use some sort of scoop. ive been separating my pudding into 6 slightly-larger-than-a-ramikin sized dishes, which is about 2-3 scoops in each one, using my trusty silver serving spoon. a ladle or measuring cup would probably work just as well.. just be careful not to urn your fingers if you use a measuring cup.
5. the extra teaspoon of sugar makes a WORLD of difference, as does the extra little bit of milk. maybe you like it less sweet, dont add the extra sugar. mum thinks its too sweet with more sugar, but maybe she heaps her spoons to a different degree than i do.
6. there will probably be a very dark bubbly-looking layer on the bottom of the pan once youve got all the pudding out. this is what teaspoons are for. probably youve shared the dregs with the chiildren, but now, tell the kids its no good because its burnt, make them play in another room and SCRAPE OFF AND EAT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN BEFORE THEY REALISE YOU'RE LYING. it looks burnt, but tastes like heaven.
   

hmm. should i eat one hot, or wait till they cool down and have it after dinner?

kids in bed.. im going for hot.


you cant have any. go make your own.